Intensive Mothering

Other writers, like Sharon Hays, mount descriptions of American mothering that implicitly criticize some of the facets of attachment parenting. After reading these authors' pieces alongside the work of attachment parenting proponents Like Lauren Lindsey Porter, William and Martha Sears, and Katie Allison Grange, do you believe that the critics' condemnation of attachment parenting Is fair? Does AP place undue demands on women? Why or why not? Questions to Ponder: Is attachment parenting synonymous with â€Å"intensive mothering? † Why or why not?Do you think attachment parenting always entails the type of parenting the authors criticize, or might aspects of attachment parenting in fact work against â€Å"intensive mothering? Is the rise of attachment parenting to blame for the stressful nature of motherhood in contemporary American society, or are other social structures at fault (e. G. Lack of maternity/family leave, lack of subsidized public childcare options, etc. )? Are t he practices AP promotes (co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and barreling, for example) problematic? Are they Incompatible with paid work?How does social class Influence the practice of attachment parenting, and do the authors myopically focus on the middle/upper-middle classes? Why do you think attachment parenting has been targeted as an object of criticism? Note that I do not expect you to answer all of these questions; I'm including them merely to give you a sense of some of the directions you might take with your Format and Specifications: In an approximately 4-5 page (1200-1500 word) paper, make a claim about whether or not you believe the critique of AP levied by the critics Is a fair and reasonable one, and why.The why Is as Important If not more Important than the stance Itself, and should play a part in your actual claim, so that your claim is not merely â€Å"the critique Your claim should be clear yet robust, and contestable, and you should draw on at east 2-3 of our in-class readings (note that you may use the Accredited and Blades and Rowe-Finickier readings on paid work and mothering as well) to support it. You should also cite at least one source that we have not read together as a class (more on that later), for a minimum of 3-4 sources.All of the papers you write for this class should adhere to MEAL guidelines both for citations (which will be parenthetical) and for the works cited page. You need not include works Vive given you to read for this course in your works cited page, but you should always put any outside sources that you cite on your works cited page. Please refer to your syllabus for specifications on margins, font, font size, and word count! Outside Sources: The following links might prove to be useful in learning more about the theory and practice of attachment parenting, and may lead you to other sources as well.I will generally accept any of the information on these sites as credible sources on attachment parenting as it is perceiv ed by its adherents. Www. Disenfranchisements. Org (official website of Attachment Parenting International Group) www. Wisped. Org (note that I don't normally encourage the use of Wisped for academic research, but TTS entry on AP is actually quite accurate and helpful; also contains links to other sites) www. Saddlers. Com (more from William Sears) www. Gastrointestinal]u. Com (this is Grange's blob; you can also link too list of her essays and articles from here) www. Naturalistic. Mom (the site on which the Porter reading appears; explores AP from a â€Å"Natural Family Living† perspective) www. Mothering. Com (website for â€Å"Mothering† magazine, an AP/NFG publication; contains numerous articles and hosts the largest discussion board on the web regarding attachment parenting issues) If you have questions or concerns about a source you intend to use, and whether it is reliable, feel free to ask me my opinion. You will have more time and opportunity to refine your u se of outside sources during the revision stage, but you should make a reasonable attempt to flesh out your evidence in this draft.Rhea Shawnee English Paper I-Draft Parenthood can often be extremely overwhelming and demanding. Putting aside your entire life and giving up everything to satisfy the needs of your baby is not an easy or poses a huge responsibility on parents. In my opinion, the critiques condemnation of attachment parenting is not fair. I believe that the concept of attachment is reasonable and infant necessary for infants to develop into skilled, independent and mature individuals who share a strong emotional bond with their parents.First and foremost, it is essential to know what Attachment parenting is all about? It is ‘an approach of raising children who are well connected to their parents rather than a strict set of rules. ‘A common misconception that people have is considering intensive mothering to be a synonym for attachment parenting. Intensive mot hering is based on the idea of completely sacrificing your needs and desires and devoting our life to your child or in other words letting your child dictate your life.Most of the articles such as DRP. Laurel's neighborhood focuses on the extreme extent people go to in order to raise their child in the â€Å"perfect† way. The author in a rather sarcastic tone aims to make the readers realize that even in the sass's and ass's parents raised babies who turned out to be Just fine without the concern that they aren't spending enough time with their kids and needing to demonstrate in countless ways each and everyday that you really, really love your child'.It lays emphasis on the fact that if you re unable to provide technologically advanced gadgets like ‘Baby-Be-Safe Crib sheet or video surveillance cameras to keep a check on the nanny looking after your baby or electronic monitors to check the babies heart rate even before he is born' you are considered an incompetent pare nt.Attachment parenting on the other hand means ‘opening your mind and heart to the individual needs of your baby and letting your knowledge of your child be your guide to making on the spot decisions about what works best for both the mother and child, that is learning read the cues of your baby and responding appropriately to those uses. ‘ It encourages parents to find out which parenting style fits their lifestyle in the best way and modify what does not work for them. As sears says, â€Å"Like any Journey, parenting requires adjustments along the way. Attachment parenting does not pose undue demands on women in the sense that it is not compelling you to do all the seven Baby Bi's and being practical and realistic, if not impossible it is extremely difficult to do everything that is recommended. It mainly advises you to incorporate whatever makes the connection between you and your child stronger in your day to ay routine. Attachment parenting does not expect parents to spend 24 hours of a day Just attending to your child, instead it's the quality of time during which you are able to develop a feeling of trust and make your baby feel that he/she can rely on you for his needs.A frequently asked question that people have is won't the constant nursing and attention giving to your child be problematic? People feel tied down with the seven Bi's of attachment parenting and might consider them to be challenging. However, many attachment parents after being interviewed stated, â€Å"l feel so connected with y baby. † â€Å"l feel right when with her, not right when we're apart. † â€Å"l feel fulfilled. † The seven Bi's of baby wearing include, ‘breastfeeding, balance, beware of baby wearing and birth bonding. Attachment parenting is a very typical way of parenting and all these practices have been practiced all over the world for hundreds of years only recently these practices have been termed together as attachment parentin g. Though some people may consider the seven Baby Bi's to be highly problematic if they are working mothers but as stated earlier, it is not mandatory to follow all seven of them. For instance, I feel breastfeeding is essential for the health of the baby, moreover, ‘Current studies show that babies who are breast fed tend to be healthier, more secure and even score higher on IQ tests!In addition the bond between breastfeeding mom and baby tends to help form a secure attachment for the baby as he or she grows. Breastfeeding also tends to be an economical choice for many families. ‘ ‘A British study of 36 middle-class mothers and their three-year-olds found that securely-attached children scored 12 points higher on the Stanford-Bines intelligence test than did insecurely attached children (Crandall and Hobnobs 1999). Since research has proven that breastfeeding is vital for healthier growth of babies I think it would be unfair for those babies who are not breast-fed. Another topic that is highly debated over is whether a baby should co-sleep or not? Research has come to a conclusion that co sleeping reduces stress and anxiety levels among babies as they sleep in a safe and sound environment close to their parents. Co-sleeping may be a stress-reducer as well. A British study reports that children (aged 3-8) who slept in their parents' rooms showed lower daily levels of the stress hormone cortical (Wentworth 2007).Its is argued upon by people who say that it may be dangerous for the baby to sleep on the same bed as the parent and co sleeping may be spoiling the baby as it would not make him independent and the baby needs to learn how to sleep alone at some point. However, co-sleeping does not mean that the baby has to sleep on the same bed as the parent. The baby can sleep anywhere in the same room as the parents or in a crib right next to the parents bed it would still be considered co sleeping.The main idea is for the baby to be close to the par ents so that the parents can easily tend to the baby if needed. If pondered upon, intensive mothering is much more problematic in comparison to attachment parenting. Intensive mothering is Judging your capability as a mother on the basis of your ability to afford expensive and luxurious products. In that sense it can be said that attachment parenting is reasonable, as at least it is not expecting parents to go over the top to raise their child.All Attachment parenting is asking parents to do is treating your child with love and affection and to getting to know your child better. Which part of that is unreasonable or unfair for mothers? A child is not a machine; it is not inbuilt with functions neither goes it come into this wide world prepared to react to all the situations it is faced with. Parents need to understand what is going on the babies mind and respond accordingly. This can only be possible if the parent spends enough time with their baby. If parents are unable to find som e time out they should not to have a baby.As critiques put it, attachment parenting may pose undue demands on women, as she is the sole person who can provide the kind of care, love and attention that the baby is unable to devote herself to her babies needs when he/she needs it the most she is not ready for the challenges of motherhood. In western cultures, it is not an obligation for a married couple to have children. If both parents are professionals and have chosen their career over their family, it would be a wiser option not to have babies, as there is no point raising a child who is going to be neglected.In several parts of the world such as India, it is almost mandatory for a married couple to have children or else the family members along with the society raise questions and the mother is expected to leave everything aside and raise the baby. This is very customary in India, as my own grandfather did not let my mother continue with her equines, as he wanted her sole attentio n to be on raising her children. Therefore, a majority of the Indian babies are attachment parented. However, in countries like America, no one is putting a gun to your head to have a baby.It is entirely the couple's choice. Therefore, in conclusion, the fact remains that every individual is unique and one parenting style cannot fit everyone. I feel that a majority of the critiques â€Å"who tend to criticize attachment parenting don't really understand what attachment parenting is all about,† â€Å"So many studies show that if you meet the needs of a child when she's nouns, she will grow into becoming more independent. † Attachment parenting is a broad parenting style that promotes seven ways to get connected with your baby.Moreover, attachment parenting is exactly what has been practiced all over the world for years only now its been given a name; the only change that has occurred is that there has been a significant increase in the number of working mothers. Attachm ent parenting is criticized because it is thought to pose strenuous demands on working mothers but it is always possible to try to mix and match parenting style and figure out what works for them. It is not setting out a strict set of rules to raise a baby and above all it is because of its flexibility why I feel attachment parenting is fair and reasonable.